You may remember the recent spam I’d been getting from some persons offering to off anyone annoying me – or, at least, teach them a lesson. Mercifully, this sort of spam has stopped. In its place, I started receiving spam from lawyers.

Lawyer spam | From the blog of Nicholas C. Rossis, author of science fiction, the Pearseus epic fantasy series and children's books

Kinda makes sense, I guess. You would need a good lawyer, had you accepted the mobsters’ offer.

As the accompanying blurb says,

You only have one time to win your case. Having the right lawyer represent your rights is critical to your success. Choosing an experienced lawyer who has an excellent reputation will make the other side’s defence attorney think twice about how they handle your claim. Search in our ads above to find a layers (sic) near you.

But when things really go south, that’s when you need the next kind of spam, which I received today…

Burial spam | From the blog of Nicholas C. Rossis, author of science fiction, the Pearseus epic fantasy series and children's books

Most funeral homes today offer pre-planning services. Pre-planning relieves your family of significant pressure and uncertainty over arrangements. It may even head off arguments among family members over what you wanted for your services and burial.

I’m now starting to have second thoughts about the competency of those lawyers. And is it me, or does the couple in the photo look strangely mirthful, given the circumstances? I wonder what other services those mobsters offered them…