Following the great titles in my previous posts, Awkward Moments in Children’s Books and More Awkward Moments in Children’s Books, here are some more… erm… unusual book titles, courtesy of the Bored Panda.

Naturally, cats are the very first subject to come to mind, proving that pussies were popular long before the Internet was invented:

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Before cat videos took over YouTube, people had to flick through books such as this, to get their daily dosage of feline craziness:

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Not all cats are equal, though.

And this delightful volume.

Photo: @Topkatmoon

And some took the whole cat craze to new levels:

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Speaking of the divine, this unusual title attempts to put men’s infatuation with sex to good use…

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…unlike this one, which just gives up with my gender.

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Just as suggestive is this quilting guide:

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Not to be outdone by Eleanor, Dave Fougner has kindly produced…

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When not quilting or knitting on your horse, you may get peckish. Before you head into the kitchen, it’s important to remember some basics in human behavior:

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Even if advice on the subject is contradictory, and the benefits of cannibalism hotly debated.

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Once you put people off the menu, of course, you realize that you still need to feed yourself. Which requires a job of some sort.

worst-book-covers-titles-47

Alternatively, you may decide to grow your own food. Which has a surprising added bonus: you get to learn what makes the fair sex tick. For example, gasoline.

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The roaring success of the first book led Roger to start a series detailing his love affair with tractors.

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Sadly, not every problem in life can be solved with the help of a trusted tractor.

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Since everything is illegal, you may give up in exasperation and decide you need to… comfort yourself. Just keep in mind that a proper visual aide is invaluable here.

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If images won’t help, perhaps it’s time to hit the ol’ work bench.

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Alternatively, you may prefer to give up on sex altogether…

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…and burn down the farm.

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Before you do, make sure all animals are safe. You never know when they’ll come in handy.

You can buy this book here.

Having no home, you’ll probably end up in the woods, in which case you’ll need this handy guide.

You can buy this book here.

I just hope the stress doesn’t cause any… trouble.

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Don’t feel bad, though. After all…

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In your loneliness, you may start hearing voices. Fret not. It’s probably just your poo talking to you.

You can buy this book here.

While pooing in the woods, you’d be forgiven for looking at the trees around you and contemplating some of the larger questions troubling humanity:

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But, pull up your trousers and take a deep breath. Someone will come to your rescue, surely. A father. A friend. A lover. All of the above.

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After all, what’s the alternative? Oh, right. This.

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Do not despair, though. Even if you do leave this mortal coil, you have plenty to look forward to.

You can buy this book here.

And if you lack the tools for making your coffin (after all, the trusted work bench has been burned down along with your farm), just be sure to leave your last breath near a cemetery, and the rest should take care of itself.

You can buy this book here.


After checking out all these… unusual books, you may want to have a look at something less controversial. Say, my award-winning children’s book, Runaway Smile, which you can read for free!