Kallipygos Venus. 1st century BC statue
I was chatting with Ali Isaac and I joked that the Greeks (notorious for their ogling) probably have as many words for behinds, as the Inuit have for snow. Ti prove my point, I mentioned that Homer uses the word καλλίπυγος (kallipygos) to describe Venus’ beautiful behind, as early as 3,500 years ago. Incidentally, the same name was used to describe a famous 1st century BC statue of Venus, seen on the right.
Mind you, kallipygos is not to be confused with φαρδοκάπουλη (fardokapouli), which simply means a woman has wide hips.
Even better, Greeks seem to carry on this fine tradition. The other day I heard in Corfu a woman described as νερατζόκωλη (neradjokoli, lit. bitter orange-arsed): she was from Arta – a region famous for its bitter oranges.
Indeed, in the hilarious slang.gr (sorry, only available in Greek), I counted at least eighty (!) words and expressions relating to posteria, including the unpronouncable τσαπερδονοκωλοσφυρίχτρα (tsapernodokolosfirichtra) – slang for a woman using her behind to entice men.
Swedish Behinds
So, imagine my surprise when I found out that Greeks are not the only ones infatuated by behinds. Indeed, the stoic Swedes have quite a few expressions referring to them. For example:
Kallipygos potato. From TheLocal.se
Smaken är som baken, delad – Taste is like your bum, divided:
While English speakers sometimes rather crudely compare opinions to assholes (everyone has got one), Swedes elaborate by likening opinions to bottoms: both are split down the middle.
Finns det hjärterum så finns det stjärterum – If there’s room in the heart there’s room for the arse:
As everyone knows, nothing can make a guest feel more welcome than talking about their posteria. When Swedes are accommodating for extra guests, they’ll often use this beautifully rhyming proverb to welcome them – and their behind.
Oh those Swedes
When not reminiscing of bottoms, the Swedes seem to enjoy coming up with more unusual sayings:
Ingen ko på isen – There’s no cow on the ice:
This is a popular saying in Sweden, which quite simply means “Don’t worry”. One wonders just how often one meets ice-skating cows in Sweden.
Just stay away from Swedish letterboxes, Gandalf, and you’ll be fine. Image: suc-of.deviantart.com
Skägget i brevlådan – Caught with your beard in the letterbox:
The equivalent of getting your hand stuck in cookie jars, or getting caught red-handed. Swedes, apparently, are in the habit of getting their beards caught in letterboxes.
I bet Saruman wishes he’d thought of that, instead of imprisoning Gandalf on the pinnacle of Orthanc.
The Gaelic Connection
To return to the behinds, shapely and otherwise, there are some Gaelic sayings about them, as well. For example,
Fear sam bith a loisgeas a mhàs, s e fhèin a dhfheumas suidhe air.
Whoever burns his backside must himself sit upon it.
And, to put everything in perspective, I’ll leave you with this little Irish gem:
Is luath fear doimeig air fàire, latha fuar Earraich.
Swift is the slut’s husband over the hill, on a bleak day in Spring. One wonders how fast he’s in other seasons, of course. Still, dare I paraphrase to “Swift is the tsaperdonokolosfirichtra’s husband over the hill, on a bleak day in Spring“?
Reblogged this on theowlladyblog.
Really funny post, Nicholas! When I first met my to-be husband I told him I admired men’s butts and he laughed at me! The potato really did it!
That was one sexy spud.
Entertaining as always. LOL. 🙂
Thanks 😀
“…English speakers sometimes rather crudely compare opinions to assholes (everyone has got one).”
I say this often, believe it or not. However, I usually follow it with a qualifier:
“Opinions are like assholes; Everyone’s got one, but no one wants to hear it.”
😀
Lmao (pun intended) 😀
I hear they have doctors now that can reattach it for you. 😀
Ha ha – good to know 😀
Where I grew up, it was “sweet patootie” and “horse’s patoot” (with the A pronounced as a schwa, or an aspirated P: “p’toot”). These terms covered the two ends of the spectrum.
Anybody have any idea where “kazod” might have come from? I first heard that one about 15 years ago, when I moved to Indiana.
Wonder if the patootie has anything to do with that potato mentioned in the post!
Appreciation of a good rear end seems to apply to both men and women. Bum-lovers of both sexes seem to be focused on that area, and women especially seem to drool over hunky men with firm buttocks.
I’ve always been a leg and boob man, so never really got the bum thing.
(Not that I am like that now of course, as I am far too politically correct to ever consider such sexism…)
Best wishes, Pete.
Lol – absolutely, Pete. Although in Greece PC hasn’t caught up yet, so ogling is still okay (as long as you keep your hands to yourself, of course).
Ah and not only the Greeks.
Wouldn’t know about that now, would I? :b
Wise man.
Isn’t that typical, men obsessed with women’s behinds? Then the beard in the letter box, not sure many people will remember a letter box here, but it is just too funny!
Leslie
Oh, absolutely. We’re obsessed with women’s behinds and facial hair (not to mention baldness). So typically male… 😀
I guess you mean the facial hair on men.
Leslie
I do. I’m obsessed with hair loss. Specifically, my hair 😀
It’s not worth obsessing about. Just smile and the women will love you.
Leslie
Aw, you! Great hair helps, though, doesn’t it? 😀
Some men just ooze appeal and they are bald. A smile goes a long way.
Leslie
Especially a runaway one :b
Nalgas de caballo. Quarter-horse ass.
Lol – I have to add that to the post. What the heck does it mean?
Around here, if you say, “She’s got an ass like a quarter horse,” it’s a good thing. In Mexico they say “Nalgas de caballo.”
Oh. So it’s just a fancy term for kallipygos, then 😀
Yes. I’m not going to try to learn the Greek though; we have a large population of Greeks in this little town–a guy could get his face slapped. A friend of mine’s wife is Greek. He told me, “I thought I married a damn Greek goddess, but she’s a goddamn Greek.”
Ha ha – brilliant 😀
I love these regional/cultural expressions. They’re so unique and I can imagine they baffle foreigners with the translation. Thanks for the visits around the world. I’m figuring the “beard in the letterbox” is someone waiting far too long for that love letter or sweepstakes win. 🙂
‘Peach’ is often used to describe an attractive female behind. You have a head start, sir! (Or madam…)
:-D. I’ve never heard that before (and if you believe that, I’ve some property…). The name has come with its share of comments.
To quote The Stranglers: “walking on the beaches looking at the peaches…” 🙂
Ha ha – so that’s what that means 😀
Ha ha ha ha!
Peach makes perfect sense. But potato…?!
I couldn’t help but think of Craig. And Gandalf 😀
I wonder if they have those slots in front doors that you can drop mail through. Someone trying to peek through could get their beard caught?
ROFLMAO!
Hee hee – same here 😀
Reblogged this on Books and More.
Umm…it’s all Greek to me. 😉
Lol – That’s ok. It was all Swedish to me.
I’m starting to wonder if the human race is butt-obsessed in general. Seems to be a big focus on the thing. As for the slut’s husband:
1. Too cold and snowy to move quickly in winter.
2. Too hot and humid to move quickly in summer.
3. Poor guy has terrible hay fever, so he can barely function in autumn. 🙂
Lmao – thanks for helping me making sense of that proverb 😀
Glad to help. That’s probably the most coherent I’ll be today.
One of those days, huh?
Yom Kippur. Fasting for 24 hours starting at sundown yesterday. Need to make it to sundown today before I can eat or drink anything. Even better, I seem to have been left with the kid.
Of course. Tzom Kal 🙂
Thanks. It’s funny, but I’ve never actually had that Hebrew term said to me or heard it. Had to look it up actually. Most people simply say ‘good luck and don’t overdo it’.
It does sound Klingon, doesn’t it? I can so imagine Worf saying it 😀
Now that you mention it. Either that or Middle Earth Elvish. Depends on the tone of the speaker.
Personal memo: avoid letterboxes today.
Lol – can’t be too careful, can you?
Great post Nick. I came across callipygous a few years back (spelt with a c mind you) and thought it the most wonderful word. Any nation that has a word for that is the epitome of civilised!
Lmao – couldn’t agree more 😀
Loved this, and I can see why the statue has such a reputation! I wish I had an arse like hers. The dictionary of slang sounds great. We have something similar in the UK called Roger’s Profanisaurus which is produced by a magazine called Viz (Roger is a character) and it lists all obscene, or slightly obscene slang. It’s the funniest thing ever. Er-hem… If you like that sort of thing.
Cheers
MTM
Ooh, I’m only too familiar with Viz 😀
I love the Profanisaurus, and Roger, but this is definitely Viz slang, and not in general use. (At least not where I hang out…)
Yes, I can’t imagine Roger mentioning kallipygos…
Only Greek (the ancient version) has a special word which means ‘to shove a radish up the arse of’. I would fully expect the modern language to enter Viz territory! 🙂
Sounds like a great one. Roger would be proud of the Greeks!
Lol – I’ve never heard of that one! You gotta share 🙂
Lmao! There’a a modern one for you! Knew you should write a post about it, most excellent, Nick!
About the cows and the ice, over here in the bad winter of 2010, many farmers lost cattle which wandered out onto the ice covering our many lakes, and consequently fell through.
Very entertaining post!
Ouch. The poor beasts. A friend once gave me a book with Celtic proverbs. It really brought home the fact that these were farmers and herders.
I was just about to post the same explanation! Really funny article, Nicholas! I’m going to share it on FB’s Linguistics and Conlangs group.
Yay! Thank you 😀
I can easily see that being an expression for trouble. Dogs on the ice are enough trouble, and they’re much smaller than cows, and more inclined to move towards humans in a crisis.
Wasn’t there a Darwin award given to some guys who took their brand-new pickup truck to fish at their local lake? Finding it frozen, they threw dynamite sticks on the ice, to create a hole large enough for them to fish. Sadly, their dog was with them. He fetched the sticks back to the truck, and was mighty confused when they fled. When the dynamite exploded, there was no truck, dog or ice left…
I’ve heard that story before, but didn’t know if it was urban legend or real.
I just googled, and according to snopes.com, it’s not true:
https://www.snopes.com/critters/cruelty/dynamite.asp
Sigh… Leave it to snopes to take the fun out of a great story 😀