Old-time followers of my blog may remember my post titled Worst Book Titles Ever. I recently saw these old children’s books in Skai’s website, and just had to share. Enjoy, and apologies in advance for my cringe-worthy comments!
There’s a word for that, bad Teddy!
Good for you, Mr. Rogers. Good for you.
The picture kinda gives away the secret, of course.
Honestly, Dick. You’ll lick just about anything, it seems.
What really sells this one is the night cap. And the fascinated look on the girls face. And the embarrassed one on the pig’s.
And that’s three sentences I never thought I’d write.
Erm, sure. Sleep. That’s what we call it down at the pond.
This is wrong on so many levels!
On the plus side, they seem happy to be putting out that fire.
Yep, that happened to me once. I didn’t know elephants liked curry.
I’ll never look at Pinocchio the same way…
If the boy scout on the right’s crying, he’s only got himself to blame, for not using the safe word.“If he doesn’t laugh, the pussy must try someone else.” Many an affair has started that way.
Yep, that’s pretty much my motto, as well.
For a innuendo-free read, you can always read my award-winning children’s book, Runaway Smile for free!
Thank God this stuff stays on the web forever…I needed this laugh today!
Glad to have helped! You may enjoy today’s post as well, then 🙂
Bless you, I needed to laugh!
Lol – thanks! 🙂
Oh I don’t know whether to cringe or laugh!!
I did both 😀
We played it as Poor Kitty. These are just wrong!! Poor cow, pig, kitty, and horse!
Lol – poor kitty does sound better… 😀
Though I’ve never heard of the game, I think I played “Poor Pussy” when I were a lad.
Maybe these are why our generation is so… liberated? Perverse? lol
Lol – See? It all makes sense now 😀
And my editor bitches about semicolons and deletes serial commas.
Lol – then again, you probably never wrote, ” ‘better a morning of awkwardness that an evening of loneliness,’ the boy said. ‘Beeh,’ the sheep bleated in response.” 😀
Wrong…. so very wrong…
Lol – yep 😀
That’s old books… I cannot believe that no one found that a little… in appropriate. Unbelievable.
Maybe those were simpler times 🙂
Say it as it is: We simply have dirty minds…
Lol – fair enough 😀
Nicholas, I think you’re winning at the internet today. These are so funny I’m going to send it to my mother.
Lol – just make sure these are not the books she used to read you! 😀
Reblogged this on Liz Gavin's Blog and commented:
My friend and fellow author Nicholas Rossis posted this today and I HAD to share. It’s good to know naughty books have a long tradition. HAHAHA
Hahaha And I thought I wrote naughty books. Thanks for posting this, Nicholas. It took a HUGE load off my shoulders. What a relief. LOL
OMG. Those are awful. Had me laughing though.
It’s one of those “I don’t want to laugh, but can’t help myself” situations, isn’t it? 😀
No kidding. I’m just amazed that no one caught it. As the author or illustrator, I’d be mortified.
Perhaps people were not so worried about innuendo back then?
Hahaha. This is so funny, it’s weird reading children’s books as adults sometimes.
Weird… Scary… take your pick 😀
These get four icks from me. Those days of innocence are long gone – I think even children would get the innuendo now, ubnfortunately.
Icks is a much better standard than stars, isn’t it? 😀
Lol – probably the best course of action 😀
Cringe worthy is right, but I can’t stop laughing.
Lol – I know what you mean 😀
Had to laugh. Didn’t want to but had to laugh.
Lol – I know what you mean 😀
Sheep was priceless.
My favorite, too 😀
Oh no … Hahaha. Thanks for this laugh!
Lol – glad to have provided it, then 🙂
Those were the days when non PC meant that your guttering was not plastic coated! I collected the Golly Wogs off jars of jam for years and you would be banned from FB for using those words now. A more innocent time.. or was it?
I often wonder about that myself 🙂
aah yes, how times have changed. People could get arrested for these nowadays!
How true! Although part of me thinks, “rightly so” 😀
This makes me laugh every time I see it. Don’t even think context would save most of these.
My favorite one was the last one. So hard to think of a face-saving context there 😀
Yeah. There’s no other way to take that one.
Ok, ah, I think I’m just speechless right now – these are v-e-r-y scary children’s books, lol 🙂
Lol – but think of the morals they teach. That last one in particular, was golden…
O-M-G ! !
OMG..and before my breakfast. Be still, my laughing heart ! I have to say, these are golden, as is your commentary !! What were the authors/illustrators thinking ??
p.s. The last one…guys I knew out in the wild west of Utah used to refer all the time to each other as “sheep f’ckers”. It’s a thing. Among lonely cowboys. Apparently. Sorry to share that one. ☺
Lol – oh my! It’s that old joke all over again – “Australia, where men are men and sheep are real nervous,” isn’t it?
Never heard that one, but it makes sense to me now. ☺
Hilarious post! 🙂
Thanks – and welcome! 🙂
A portrait of pollution- how vision has changed! There is hardly a reason to ‘like’ these but there could be a ‘just Look!’ alternative.
In a sense, they’re a tribute to a simpler time 🙂
A welcome look back to days of innocence. Even now, it will only be the adults, and the ‘PC’ obsessed, who would notice these gaffes. Great fun though.
Best wishes, Pete.
Glad you enjoyed it, Pete 🙂
That should have had a ‘don’t read this whilst drinking’ disclaimer 😉
I’m seriously considering adding one 😀
Good idea 🙂
Lol – quite right 😀
Way to go, Nicholas… I have tears in my coffee, and a screen splattered with the stuff 🙂
Lol – I should probably have started with a warning – “grab your tissues before you start reading” or something 😀
Shaking my head, Nicholas! 😮
Lol – So, you see why I had to share… 😀