Although I’m quite the romantic at heart, the engineer in me can’t help but marvel at the number of everyday drama that would have been avoided, if only people were made to fill certain forms. So, in my ever-lasting quest to help out my fellow authors dream up a better world, I give you The Perfect List of Forms for Every Occasion (many thanks to Michelle Proulx for bringing it to my attention).
How to use them in your book
The story could start with a simple invitation: your hero’s presence is requested at a company event.
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The event turns out to be a surprise party thrown by his company to congratulate him on a job well done. The president herself expresses her appreciation.
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While there, he meets a stunning young woman, and is immediately smitten. So much so, that he promptly fills in the appropriate form:
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The woman, however, has a secret. One that burdens her much, but that she can’t share without first filling in an NDA.
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The man refuses to sing it, and leaves. Naturally, she is terribly miffed at this, and sends him the terrible Airing of Grievance form.
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This knocks some sense into him. Regretting his rush decision, he seeks her forgiveness.
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After much hand-wringing, she accepts his apology.
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Naturally, he’s overcome with emotion.
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“We must wed at once,” he thinks.
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However, before she has a chance to accept, tragedy strikes:
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Then what?!
Well, the tragedy mentioned is that I’ve run out of cards, which means that you will have to finish the story yourselves. Do not despair, though: once you do, let me know and I will promptly send you one of these:
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I love the reason “You were never supposed to know” on the Formal Apology form. I don’t think if you check that option you’ll be given a Grant of Forgiveness in return.
Lol – probably not 😀
Very clever, highly entertaining. 🙂
Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! 🙂
Hilarious! Could we customize some of these for the Internal Revenue Service? You know, bring some of the joy back into doing our taxes? 😉
Lol – If you had any idea what taxes are currently like in Greece, you’d know better than to ask! We sorely need some joy there… 😀
(hint: this year, over 80% of my income went to the government in one way or another).
Ouch! I don’t think funnier forms are going to help much 🙁
Indeed. So I write, instead. It keeps me sane! 😀
Gack! Unbelievable.
Really enjoyed this post. Had a good chuckle imagining the use of these forms
Thanks John, so did I! 😀
This is so funny. Now we all know what how easy it is to write a book, just fill in the blanks. Love this..
I live to serve! 😀
I’ve heard rumours that there is more to writing a book than this, but I’ve finally exposed the ugly truth: just use the handy guide, and the possibilities are endless!
Only, remember me when your books hit #1 and you become rich and famous, won’t you? 😀
Did you think of making a book of these with detachable forms? I think people would go for them like hotcakes! I’m sure that you can come up with some more of them. You could save people millions of words in communication!
Oh, absolutely! The possibilities are endless! 😀
Where’s the form for the comments? I liked it, loved it, ate it; I am planning to follow you, sing to you, ignore you. Your idea is funny, silly, ripe for investment.
Erm, all of the above? Feel free to take it and run with it! Or invest in it, if you prefer. I happily accept payment in cookies and/or tea. 🙂
Very clever! Love it!
Thank you and welcome! 🙂
Feel free to take it and run with it, although “The Forms under the Staircase on Pine Street” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it! 😀
There’s nothing like an orderly life, just knowing where you stand.
The inventor of the forms it seems, deserves a hand.
Encore…… Now perhaps forms to end the wars worldwide, A Declaration of Peace maybe?
A Magic blog post.
Lol – thank you so much David, you’re always the kindest! There was one form I left out, a Last Will and Testament. The unfortunate news, perhaps?
Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog….. An Author Promotions Enterprise! and commented:
I LOVE THIS ARTICLE
STATEMENT OF RE-BLOGGING INTENT FORM
😀 😀 😀
Nicholas, this is so cute! Love it! @v@ <3
*blush* Thank you! 🙂
😀 😀 😀
Your laughter brightens my day! 🙂
You are welcome. 😎