A simile, to be perfect, must both illustrate and ennoble the subject
Well, apologies for the slightly misleading title, but I’m sure you’ll agree there are some rather… unique similes here. My friend Nat Russo shared this on Facebook (originally created by tickld), and I just had to share with you! It’s similes from actual English exam essays, and, well, you have to read them to see why next time you’re in search of the perfect simile, you’ll just have to look at this brilliant list.
Update: I pulled the original photo and used one I made with the full list of similes that my long lost twin from different parents Amos M. Carpenter very kindly sent me!
Feel free to use the comments to let me know which one is your favorite!
These are hilarious, Nicholas! LOL!!!
These are so bad I don’t know if I should laugh or vomit, LOL. The Ballerina and the dog at the fire hydrant (nr 26) has to take the biscuit……..
Lol – it’s a tough competition, I know! 😀
I haven’t laughed so much in years!
I’m glad to have helped! 😀 And thank you for all your RTs – they’re much appreciated!
I’m sorry *choking on laughter* – I couldn’t possibly choose just one!
Lol – I had the same problem myself! 😀
Great list! But, from my perspective, most of these fell short in the “ennobling” department…. LOL
Whaaat?? Nonsense, surely! Are you suggesting that a landmine-stepping duck is not an ennobling simile? Bah humbug, that’s crazier than, like, whatever.
Laughing out loud funny! Thanks for sharing!
I wd give top marks in an exam to whoever wrote No 5.
Sorry, I changed the order, so I’ll explain that you’re referring to poor McMurphy hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
A fine choice! 😀
Yes, it’s yuckily brilliant.
Number 4 mocks the late, great Douglas Adams describing the Vogon fleet in Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy!
They “hung in the air in much the same way that bricks don’t.”
I like numbers 12 and 17. Not as a similes but as observations.
A fine choice, Sir! 🙂
You get extra points for the cultural reference – I had forgotten that particular Adams line! 😀
I’d prefer to see it as honouring rather than mocking Douglas Adams 🙂
I remember when that email made the rounds years ago 😀 but there are a few missing!
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
… and some more, but I’d better stop there 😛
Those are awesome!!! 😀 Don’t stop, I’ll be sure to add them to the post!