If you’re anything like me, when invited to a person’s house, you discreetly go through your host’s bookshelves to see what they like reading –that is, if there are any books in the house- and consider whether you have a literary connection between you. I have found that it is quite useful to get a glimpse of the person across you, besides being a nice conversation starter.
Sometimes, I even find that a friend has a book I’d lent them ages ago buried in his/her bookcase, which prompts an explanation of the “oh, that’s where it is” type (from them), along with silent curses (from me). I often promise myself that I will not lend books to people because my books are then guaranteed to disappear in the planet-of-lost-books. If you want to know, it’s the planet next to the planet-of-lost-single-socks and they seem to be keeping great company between them, laughing out loud at us humans, and enjoying the same constellation and solar system as the planet-of-forgotten-passwords. Anyway, my books usually do not find their way back to my bookshelves, but I constantly fail to keep on that promise, and that is why I find them in other people’s homes.
So, if you are in the habit of diplomatically browsing through your friends’ bookshelves (or Kindle), here are a few pointers as to what you can deduce from your findings, courtesy of The Date Report. Of course, if they have a book written by you, then just ignore this list and marry them already!
- The Catcher in the Rye: They went through a moody phase and probably have a solid investment portfolio.
- Cloud Atlas: They see movies, read the book, like the movie better, and will never admit it.
- Brave New World: They’re probably just into future theories and sexual liberty, but you might want to have the eugenics talk sooner rather than later. Just in case.
- Game of Thrones: They’ve got all the patience.
- Pride and Prejudice: They’re all about the happy ending and love Judi Dench movies.
- Twilight: They’re (unconsciously) really into Shakespeare.
- Titus Andronicus: They’re really into Shakespeare.
- The Great Gatsby: They’re a cynic with a heart of gold and a sad past.
- The Adventures of Huck Finn/Tom Sawyer: They probably spent a lot of time alone in the woods as a kid, which made them kind of awesome.
- To Kill a Mockingbird: They did poorly on the LSATs.
- The DaVinci Code: They’re troubled by Beyonce’s Illuminati connections.
- Little Women: This person is growing and maturing through experience. Lock it down.
- The Outsiders: They wear the same boots they did in high school and have an affinity for Bruce Springstein.
- On The Road: They’ll always have an extra flannel something you can borrow.
- The Scarlet Letter: They’re your 10th grade English teacher.
- Ulysses: They are still paying off grad school.
- Fifty Shades of Grey: They’re really into Twilight, so basically, they’re into Shakespeare. But sexy Shakespeare. With a whip.
- Lord of the Flies: They were definitely a camp kid.
- Identity Crisis: They don’t really “get” sports.
- Dracula: Make sure to lock your diary, cause they’ll probably read it.
- Eat, Pray, Love: You won’t have to ask too many questions about their life. They’ll tell you all about it.
- The Adults: They might have a few daddy issues, but the north-eastern swarm more than makes up for it.
- The Lord of the Rings: They like staying in hostels a little too much.
- Fight Club: Run. Run now.
- The Virgin Suicides: The journey, not the destination, is what’s important to them.
- Divergent: Holy cow, no. Run faster than you ran from Fight Club. In fact, run back to Fight Club.
- Harry Potter 7: They understand that true love A) conquers all and B) lasts forever.
- Harry Potter 1-6: They need to stop being lazy and finish the series.
- Bossypants: They have strange cravings for sugar-free orange juice.
- Flowers in the Attic: Total wildcard. Totally worth it.
I’m your 10th grade English teacher. And I have a whip.
Lol – I’m well aware of your whipping tendencies (oh my, that turned out rather naughtier than I intended!) 😀
That was hilarious, thanks for that Nicholas! I also relate to your frustration about never having your books returned to you (applies to me also for DVDs!). I found the meaning for Fight Club the best haha. I have 5 of those books but I am not telling which, LOL
I guess I’ll just have to visit, then… 😉
I blogged about this topic myself, but not so hilariously! Thanks for the laughs.
That’s sweet; thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! 😀
Except for one exception: I don’t buy fiction, but I read it voraciously. I use libraries.
That’s ingenious! Throw them off the scent! 😀
The sugar-free orange juice made me gag. A little confused on Divergent though. Probably because I know nothing about it. :/
Well, at least now you know what to expect… :b
Fun post, but what I enjoyed the most was your intro!! If you come to my house though you’ll see my husband’s history and economy books, but my books are waaay back in the bedroom. No chance of peeking at them. Ha! (Although by now, everyone will know my escapist genre of choice) 🙂
Always check out the bathroom, too! 😀 We have these friends who have quite the library there…